IMG_0755Sightings from the Top: The Mysterious Dirt Pile

A pile of dirt was growing between Fisher Ave. and the railroad tracks, visible from the top of Tupper Street Bridge. I was curious as to why it got a little bigger each time I noticed it. Being the clever sleuth that I am, I spotted the answer one morning. One of those little street sweeper units the City uses to, um, sweep the streets, was unloading onto it. So that’s where all that dirt came from! Apparently there are piles like this here and there around the City, so operators don’t have to waste so much time unloading.

But alas. One afternoon as I crossed the bridge, the pile was gone. I mean, GONE. And I have my theory about how it happened.

A young Nosian named Ned from the planet Nosey was assigned to research Earthlings. Ned convinced his superiors that boatloads of information could be gleaned through careful study of the dust collected off our streets. “After all,” Ned argued, “their very feet have trod through this dirt. It will tell us all we need to know.”

Ned was a smooth talker for a Nosian. What his superiors didn’t know was that he was also lazy. Or that he needed a little landfill to even out his back yard back on Nosey.

So while Portage la Prairie slept, the Nosians visited in their space craft, hovering over each of these dirt piles just long enough to suck up the dirt with one mighty slurp of their cosmic vacuum cleaner. Then off they shot, speedier than a speedy speeder, back to Nosey. Now Ned’s back yard looks like a park and he will spend the rest of his days “researching” humans by relaxing in a lawn chair on his deck and watching for any traces of life in the Earth dust.

Just a theory, mind you. But I’d be keeping my eye on those dirt piles if I were you.

Terrie Todd


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