Chester the City Hall Mouse Survives Extermination

Poulins1It’s the scariest day of the year, especially when it happens on October 31st. I don’t mean Halloween, neither. I’m talkin’ about the exterminator makin’ a visit to City Hall. Somehow it slipped my mind that it was ‘bout that time. Guess I was busy with more important things like tuckin’ away the vittles gathered after last week’s celebrations.

But all of a sudden, there he was. Big as Arnold Schwartensdrooper, strong as Mighty Mouse, and ugly as my brother Ivan’s ex-mother-in-law’s Aunty Mame. I had to do me some fancy footwork, I’ll tell ya. But once, again, I survived. Whew!

It did get me to thinking about my own mortality, though. And that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. We all know the only things certain in this life are death and taxes, especially here at City Hall. It does a mouse good to consider the end of his days now and then.

So I decided I should write my last will and testimony, just in case. Not that I have a lot to leave behind, mind you. But what I have is precious and I don’t want it goin’ to jest anybody. So, here’s what I come up with.

I, Chester the City Hall Mouse, being of sound mind and furry body, do hereby bequeath the following possessions to the following folks:

To Mayor Irvine Ferris, my tube of Miracle Mouse Body Lotion. It’s proven to thicken the skin, and I figger he’s gonna need all of that he can get. Feel free to share it with all of Council.

To my fellow field mice back home, I leave my secret stash of vittles. Have a party on ol’ Chester!

And last but not least, I leave my rat-tail comb to Mr. Shane Neufeld. The mullet is sure to make a comeback sooner or later.

Exterminators ought to be executed, if ya ask me. Not that anybody’s askin’.

All for this time,

Chester

2 Responses

  1. Shane Neufeld

    Hey! I resemble that remark. Just like The Hoop and Holler, all business in the front, all party in the back!

    Reply

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