Sightings from the Top: A Portage Tale of Biblical Proportions

by Terrie Todd

One morning as I crossed the Tupper Street overpass, I found a pair of scissors lying on the sidewalk. Scissors! How on earth did they get there?

I have my theory.

A young man named Sam lives in Portage’s north end. He’s a hero on the PCI Trojans’ Volleyball team. Sam has a lovely girlfriend named Delia, not to be confused with Dahlia, which is a flower. Also lovely.  Delia takes cosmetology at PCI.

What Delia does not know, but what the Pipers team from John Taylor Collegiate are bribing her to find out, is the secret to Sam’s super prowess on the volleyball court. She begs Sam to reveal it to her. Sam tells her if she were to tie him up with fishing line, his strength would fail. So, while he’s sleeping, she ties him up and then shouts, “The Pipers are coming, the Pipers are coming!” Sam busts loose like nothing.

Three times Sam toys with Delia this way, as she tries tying him up with plastic twine and then braiding his long hair as he suggests. Each time, she calls, “The Pipers are coming” and each time, Sam’s strength remains. Finally, Delia pumps out the tears and gives Sam the ol’ “how can you say you love me?” routine.

It works. But just as Sam is about to finally surrender the secret of his great strength to Delia, a lion with an active wasps’ nest in its mouth comes charging toward them. Delia, who’s fearful of both lions and wasps, flees for her life. As she runs across the overpass, the scissors from her cosmetology class falls from her belt, to be found by me. Meanwhile, Sam kills the lion and uses its jawbone to swat all the bees.

If this story sounds vaguely familiar, you really need to go back to Sunday School. You should know it better.

 

Editors note:  If you’d like to read about the real PCI Trojans volleyball team click here:  Portage Graphic Article on Trojans vs. Pipers

 

Here is a recent video story that has a theme of something lost being found.

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