Back in the summer we ran a mock story on the naming rights for our Coke can going to CBC.  In the piece we identified Jian Ghomeshi as the CBC’s first pick but the plan fell through after we spelled his name incorrectly.  The mis-spelling to Gomessy may have foreshadowed the former radio icon’s fall from grace as he is indeed going messy.

Here is the original piece that may have prophesied recent events.

 


 

Unconfirmed sources have made unsubstantiated claims the City of Portage la Prairie has struck a large naming rights deal with CBC to update the world’s largest can of Coca-Cola.

This summer, Coke launched a marketing campaign where they printed people’s names on bottles and cans, to boost sales.  The marketing department at The Hoop and Holler dot com jumped on the idea and approached City Hall to see if they could broker a deal on the naming rights for our very own big can of pop.

After failing to finalize deals with Donald Trump, Jay-Z, and the estate of Michael Jackson, HnH marketers turned their attention to securing a Canadian icon for the can.  After receiving rejections from Lloyd Robertson, Howie Mandel and Pamela Anderson they decided to approach the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

While facing budget cuts and declining advertising revenue, the CBC quickly saw value in the innovative and economical promotional opportunity.

“We did a quick search and noticed at least 88 people a year take a picture of the can.  With those kind of numbers it was a no-brainer,” said a fabricated CBC representative.  “And for crying out loud, it’s the world’s largest can of Coke and it’s in Canada!  How much more Canadian can you get?”

Originally, the CBC selected Jian Ghomeshi to promote on the can but HnH marketing staff grossly misspelled their first attempt on the can which soured Ghomeshi on the idea, leaving CBC to come up with a second choice.

“It was real embarrassing to spell that guys name wrong but we couldn’t even spell his first name right.  I guess our inability to proofread and research kind of caught up to us,” said a member of the HnH marketing team.  “We almost had a deal with local band, Doc Walker, but someone on our team kept calling them Dog Walkers during our meeting until they kicked us out.”

CBC’s second choice ran into trouble when painters realized they could not fit George Stroumboulopoulos’ name on the landmark.  CBC was hit up for yet another alternative. After much deliberation they settled on Peter Mansbridge.

Painting crews unfortunately misspelled Mansbridge to Mansridge, and out of frustration, painted Peter on the can.

“It’s great!  We have the biggest Peter and the World’s largest Coke can”, said anonymous HnH sources.  “We think at least twice as many people will stop to take pictures now making it a real win, win, win!”

The naming rights deal is reported to be in the tens if not dozens of dollars range and will enhance the can’s role as a tourism magnet proving, yet again, Portage is the city of possibilities.

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