Breakfast, Lunch, and Supper at Tiffany’s

by Chester the City Hall Mouse


I’m offended.

Some young upstart was visitin’ City Hall to attend a meeting last week and figgered he needed coffee. He was directed downstairs to the staff break room, which we here affectionately call “Tiffany’s.” He had never seen Tiffany’s before, but he found his coffee. When he returned to the meeting with cup in hand, he had the nerve to say,

“The seventies called. They want their break room back.”

I’ll have you know Tiffany’s is my favourite room in the whole castle. That’s where I get 95% of my sustenance. The floor is concrete, so any dropped crumbs can’t get lost in carpet. No one ever sits on the couch, so I can have it all to myself with no worries of getting squished. And the dank, dungeon-like atmosphere guarantees I git the place to myself most of the time. None of them nosy health inspectors pokin’ around, neither. Who cares about fashion?

Reminds me of my little sister, Feona.  I know how to push her buttons. Betcha it’ll drive her nutty when I tell her the eighties called and they want their wallpaper back. That crazy mouse wastes half her life flippin’ through them dumb magazines with the latest knick-knacks and newest do-dads, trying to make herself and her nest look all trendy and vogue. Trouble is, she lives in a doctor’s office where all the magazines are older than the doctors.

Why bother, I say. Everbody just laughs at yesterday’s fads and tomorrow they’ll be chortlin’ over today’s. Why not just laugh now?

Anywhere, where was I? Oh yeah, Tiffany’s. Finest establishment in the City, if ya ask me. Not that anybody’s askin.’


All for this time,



3 Responses

  1. Robin

    Didn’t know that the city provided an “in house” exercise program for city hall employees too – guess all that getting up and sitting down to change the channels on the TV at Tiffany’s qualifies as Boot Camp…

    • Chester

      The TV don’t work. Least ways, I ain’t never seen nobody watchin’ it. Tried to use it m’self late one night but cain’t get nuthin’ except static. I think it’s holdin’ up a wall er sumthin’ cuz they just leave it there. –Chester

  2. greg

    I worked in that basement in 1978-79,rolling coins from the parking meters. The coffee room décor was old then, and its the same now. They have changed the “CITY HALL” sign 4 times since then! lol


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